ode to friendship
2003-10-18
Oh, honey! When you decide to give your heart you do it fully, and without reserve. Don't do things because you think you should, but rather because you want to. And when someone gains your trust it's amazing the person that you are- That you are trying to be- That you want to become- that you could be. Are you telling me that you have posed around me for almost 4 years now? Surely you weren't posing all of the time. Go with your feeling at the time. Trust your feelings, they are the best warnings you have. Please stop beating yourself up! You should only give your heart and love away when you want to, not because you feel obliged. If you’re not ready for a relationship, then don't be in one.
These words were written by a true friend of mine, a friend I should never forget that I have; a friend that I am lucky to have. In my last entry, I foolishly wrote that I did not love my friends, that I was merely posing for the benefit of my critical mind. What I neglected to consider, when I lost myself in the depths of that self-defeating mood, was that there are friends out there that have touched me, who have been there for me, who have meant something more to me than what I gave them credit for in that entry. Those friends are what matters; those friends are the essence of my life, and they deserve more than to be forgotten in my loneliness. Why, after all, should I be lonely when always, even if not in the flesh, my friends are with me? I cannot thank them enough for their continued presence, for their care, for their company and their words. No matter how far away we all are from each other, that distance is broached, is transcended in a nanosecond by the strength of our friendship.
May I never again forget those who have given me my life as I know it. I can only hope they feel as loved by me as I do by them.
